Be Nice … and Stop Being a Jerk. How to Give Your Wife Verbal Encouragement and Stop Cutting Your Toe Nails on the Carpet

I think the wordy title of this essay steals the thunder of what you’re about to read in the next few minutes.  I know it may be tempting for any husbands out there to read the essay title, quickly apply the essay title, and then walk away into the sunset to live happily ever after with his wife ... because we all know that it … Just.  Might.  Work.  And husbands really are just that good.  There’s no hiding the fact that the title above could very well be the antidote, the instant marriage saver fix, for all husbands currently breathing on the planet.

If you decide to keep reading, though, I promise to share a few tips that have crossed my mind recently.  Read about it, laugh about it, and who knows, perhaps you might even apply some of it to your marriage.

Look, I know there are many ways to build a strong, happy marriage.  My book shelf is filled with top-selling books describing the five, seven, or ten ways to have a successful marriage.  And I think the books on my shelf raise excellent points.  I encourage you come over to my place and read as many as you’d like (as long as you don’t start cutting your toe nails on the carpet).  Please, by all means, be a student of your marriage.  Various book topics include Christ centered, communication, money matters, putting down the toilet seat, blah, blah, blah … and all of these books provide excellent insights.  Each topic is worth the pursuit and worth mastering.

But what about “Be Nice … and Stop Being a Jerk”?  To my shock and amazement, I found no book titles or chapters that offered such direct, profound insight.  I know I used the word jerk in the title, but some may be more comfortable referencing a long-eared horse like animal known to have buck teeth.  And you are welcome to use that three letter word if you choose.

Now, are you ready for powerful, mind-blowing insight?  Here goes.  If you’re being nice, then you’re not being a jerk.  And if you’re being a jerk, then you’re not being nice.  Got it?  I’m not going to waste either of our time telling you what nice looks like ... you've heard it your entire life.  Follow these steps:

1. Think of what you believe nice will look like for your wife.
2. Ask you wife if she can add to or modify your list.
3. Be nice ... and stop being a jerk.

Done.  Moving on.

The subtitle of this essay is “How to give your wife verbal encouragement and stop cutting your toe nails on the carpet.”  Translation:  Use your words and actions to communicate love.  You've got to do both.  Follow these steps:

1. Get an imaginary empty bucket.
2. Place it next to you.
3. Put your wife's name on the imaginary bucket.
4. Fill the bucket with encouraging words.
5. Go splash her with the contents of your encouragement bucket.  (reminder:  this is not literal.)
6. Repeat often.

There are plenty of discouraging words to be found from other sources outside the marriage.  Don’t pile on and bring those words into your marriage.  Be quick to catch your wife in the act of doing right.  Follow these steps:

1. Find a penny dated 2014.
2. Put the penny in one of your pockets.
3. Always carry that penny with you.
4. Let that penny be your encouragement reminder that 2014 is the year that you decided to begin splashing your wife with praise.

And finally, regarding cutting your toe nails on the carpet … uh, yeah … probably shouldn't do that, OK?  Same with finger nail cutting.

Please look for my next essay.  It will be the same title, but I’ll trade out the word Wife and replace it with Husband.  Because wives shouldn't cut their toe nails on the carpet either.  I suppose that also means both husband and wife will have to be nice to each other.  Wait, what? ... whoa, that might actually work.

I know I've offered an overly simplistic solution for any marriages that were perhaps struggling or needing an idea boost, but I'm thinking that whole being nice and encouraging each other stuff sure can't hurt.  Marriage is a beautiful, fun, lifetime friendship.  Treat it that way.